Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I need water and some morals
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
