he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
