At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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