According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
