operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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