dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you traded sex for a burrito?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
