so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
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i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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