i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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