You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
