I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
