I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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