Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
