Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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