You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Houston, we have a blender
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
