i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
