everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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