Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
