I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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