discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
