Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
