I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize