Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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