apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
