I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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