Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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