It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Who died my cat blue again?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize