He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
