i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize