This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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