STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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