Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
