I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
