this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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