some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Green mimosas i think yes
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize