I just threw up on my dentist
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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