She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Randomize
