I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
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the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
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From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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