I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
