Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
