why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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