Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
