i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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