This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
