I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You made out with two different species that night
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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