tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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