i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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