After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
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She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
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I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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