shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
