Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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