Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize