I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
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There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
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I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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