So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
