Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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