grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
