I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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