I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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